Life as a Mission, Best Life Ever, and The 5 Be’s

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Podcast

Do you ever feel like your life is “stuck” in neutral? Well, do I have a real “dynamic duo” of women who can help you put your life in 5th gear! I had the honor and pleasure of being a guest on the Best Life Ever podcast, hosted by Kimi Morton and Pua Pakele & Cabot. Kimi and Pua are two Success Coaches, Authors, and “Work+Life Integration Ninjas” on a mission to help you create your Best Life Ever. They’re two of the most positive, motivated women I’ve ever met!

We met at a Project Management Institute meeting here in Honolulu, and their positive message of intentional living really resonated with me. Their talk was fun, engaging, and positive–exactly the kind of thing everyone needs to hear in a world where the 24-hour news cycle dominates our thinking. Kimi and Pua were kind enough to give me a copy of their Best Life Ever Weekly Planner, and my daughter loved it! I particularly liked the idea of the weekly plan review and creating the “big vision.” As I’ve written before, leaders have to know where they’re headed.

The 5 Be’s

We talked about living intentionally and how my book, The 5 Be’s for Starting Out, fit in with their mission. It actually began as a talk for our newest Airmen, but I’ve been very pleased at how the message hasWant to know more? Click here! resonated with more “seasoned” audiences. It is by far my most requested talk! The message of The 5 Be’s is simple:

  • Be Proud of Who You Are – everyone has something to contribute
  • Be Authentically Free – don’t be bound by your appetites and whims
  • Be Virtuous – Prudence, Temperance, Justice, Fortitude (H/T to Aristotle)
  • Be Balanced – Integrate and feed your Mind, Body, and Spirit
  • Be Courageous – Both physical and moral courage are keys to being successful; especially moral courage.

Boundaries are Fine, But People Need a Positive Vision

Ever feel like all you ever hear from your boss, your parents, authorities, etc., are lists of “no’s” and “don’ts?” So did I. As I matured into leading larger, and often younger, groups of people I came to learn that boundaries simply is not enough. Here’s what I wrote in The 5 Be’s:

All of these “don’ts” form the boundaries of acceptable behavior. When reasonably imposed, boundaries are a necessary part of establishing appropriate and acceptable behavior. Manners, after all, are intended to make everyone comfortable, so that each person’s dignity and feelings are safeguarded. All human groupings develop norms for behavior that each group member is expected to adhere to. They vary in complexity and formality, but norms, boundaries, or “don’ts” are common. Of course, we can overdo boundary setting. When there are too many boundaries, it becomes a tyranny. In general, boundaries and standards of behavior (“manners” ) are necessary to the function of any human society.

What’s generally left unsaid when establishing our group norms is a target to focus on. It’s not sufficient to merely describe the outside boundaries of the target; you also have to show people what the bull’s-eye looks like. That’s what this book is all about.

People can function in a world of “do’s” and “don’ts,” but knowing what to do and what not to do only describes external behavior. What people, particularly young people, really need is a vision of who we want them to be. With that vision, people are then empowered to reach for something rather than avoiding something.

If you want to lead–know where you’re going!

How to Listen

Links to the podcast are below, and I hope you listen in to our conversation as well as their other podcasts. We talked about my book, The 5 Be’s for Starting Out, and how it is similar it is to their message. There’s even a Yoda impression and I reveal when I wear my “jammies,” so it’s not dull! Kimi and Pua are two great women on a mission to make the world better, and it was fun chatting with them! Be sure to also check out the Podcast page for more podcasts!

Listen online

Listen on iTunes

Listen on Stitcher


Mickey's Rules for Leaders eBook CoverMickey believes everyone can reach high levels of performance if inspired and led. During his 30 year US Air Force career Mickey commanded thousands of Airmen, managed portfolios worth billions of dollars, and worked with military, civil, and industry officials around the world. He is a Distinguished Graduate from the Eisenhower School at National Defense University in Washington DC.

Mickey is the author of seven books, including Leading Leaders: Inspiring, Empowering, and Motivating Teams, Mickey’s Rules for Leaders, and The 5 Be’s For Starting Out. He’s a frequent contributor to industry publications and writes for his own blog and GeneralLeadership.com.

 

Sign up for Mickey’s mailing list and get Mickey’s Rules for Leaders as a thank you!

 

#TBT “Local Kine” Leadership

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Books

Aloha: the word conjures up warm tropical breezes and spectacular sunsets. But just as Hawaii is more than sand and surf, so is the meaning of aloha. It’s far more than you think!

The natural beauty of the ‘aina (the land) and ke kai (the sea) in the Hawaiian Islands is legendary, but it’s the e komo mai (welcome) the good kama’aina (islanders) show to malahini (newcomers like me), that make these Islands of Aloha a wonderful place to live.  In fact, if you’ve noticed a slow down in the number of posts since I arrived last July, just take a look at the photo below and ask yourself, “Would I be at the computer or would I be outside?”  All kidding aside and the beauty of the Islands notwithstanding, the Spirit of Aloha is the primary reason we love Hawaii.  It’s been my experience that good relationships can make any place a great place to live.  In other words, leadership is like life: it’s all about the people.

Makapu'u Lookout, O'ahu
Makapu’u Lookout, O’ahu

One of our local authors, Rosa Say, has written a book and maintains a site dedicated to the Hawaiian approach to leading people called Managing With Aloha.  It’s a Hawaiian spin on the classic leadership approach of meeting people where they are and respecting them as part of the team.  Rosa Say does a great job of explaining the Hawaiian approach to life and then translating that into business principles anyone can use.  In her 19 Values of Aloha, she uses the traditional Hawaiian values and words from the Hawaiian language to express how a workplace can operate with Aloha.

Managing With Aloha 0001L4-791x1024 I think the values Ms Say describes connect nicely with my own Leading Leaders philosophy of Integrity, Respect, Teamwork, Leaders Lead, and Little Things Matter.  These values resonate, and also connect across cultural lines, because fundamentally leadership is about relationships, and helping others find value in their work and each other.  I like her blog, and I’m looking forward to reading Rosa Say’s book.

In my own book, I touch on similar ideas. Even though I’ve developed my leadership principles primarily in military and sports environments, Leading Leaders principles are universal and can be applied to industry, non-profit, and government. Why? Because good leadership is fundamentally about human interaction, inspiring people to get a job done or overcome obstacles: from combat to craft fairs. Leadership is not a formula or process. There is no product to buy, shirt to wear, or pill to take that can substitute for good leadership, and good leadership requires strength of character from the leader.  This is something I have in common with Ms Say: the belief in the power of ohana and relationships to move people toward goals.

A big mahalo (thank you) to Rosa Say for her contribution to helping leaders live pono, spread aloha and ohana, and add to the conversation about alaka’i in the business community!


Mickey's Rules for Leaders eBook CoverMickey believes everyone can reach high levels of performance if inspired and led. During his 28 year US Air Force career Mickey commanded thousands of Airmen, managed portfolios worth billions of dollars, and worked with military, civil, and industry officials around the world. He is a Distinguished Graduate from the Eisenhower School at National Defense University in Washington DC.

Mickey is the author of seven books, including Leading Leaders: Inspiring, Empowering, and Motivating Teams and The 5 Be’s For Starting Out. He’s a frequent contributor to industry publications and blogs.

Be Free – Part II

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Books, The Five Be's

Moby_1In Part I, I put forth the idea that “freedom” is not simply doing whatever we want, but doing what’s good and in a way that builds ourselves and others up. To illustrate, we will look at traffic controls which are tools such as traffic signals, signage, speed limits, and pavement markings. Traffic controls restrict the flow of vehicular traffic on roads and highways to comply with specific safety rules and guidelines. A superficial look at traffic controls would imply that traffic controls restrict a driver’s freedom, but the opposite is actually the case.  Imagine how dangerous roads would be without speed limits, signage or lane markings.

What fascinates me about addiction and obsessive behavior is that people would choose an altered state of consciousness that’s toxic and ostensibly destroys most aspects of your normal life, because for a brief moment you feel okay.

– Moby, musician-songwriter

The opposite of freedom is not “just” confinement or restriction. As we will discuss in the next section, Aristotle’s philosophy of the Golden Mean, is that virtue lies in the middle between the extremes of vice.However, with appropriate traffic controls, we have the freedom to safely travel wherever we like. We can feel safe travelling at high speeds on the highway since we know that our fellow motorists will also be following the guidelines ensuring safe travel for all. Appropriate behavioral controls permit us to remain free, and in this case unharmed.

Therefore, on one end of the “freedom continuum” lies slavery, and on the other lies license. Just as slavery is the abuse of freedom to hold another unjustly bound, license likewise is an abuse of freedom since it binds our own will to our appetites or passions. The newspaper is brimming with stories of people who abused their own freedom either through the self-abuse or by allowing others to abuse them. “Excessive freedom” is as much a problem as a complete lack of freedom, and in fact ends up in the same place: slavery. On the ends of the “freedom continuum” is slavery to others and slavery to appetites – both are self-destructive.

As a military officer, I often remind my Airmen that the Air Force doesn’t set standards of behavior to hinder their freedom (i.e., regulations). Rather, we set standards of behavior to keep them safe and healthy, ready to accomplish our mission – to have the defense of our countrymen in our hands is a serious responsibility.

When Airmen violate these standards, leaders must do their duty and hold them accountable – this is justice. Furthermore, being held accountable is actually good for morale. The consequences for violating military standards range from minor to severe, depending on the seriousness of the offense, and always entails some sort of penalty such as a fine, extra duty, or demotion of rank. When others see an offender receive their just deserts for violating the rules or the law, it reinforces their confidence in their leaders and each other.

To summarize, true freedom does not come at someone else’s expense and true freedom doesn’t result from selfishness or self-centeredness. True freedom comes from serving others and respecting both our own and others’ dignity. True freedom enables us to grow as human persons.

Of Surfing, Leading, and Be’s

Posted Leave a commentPosted in How To Change, Podcast, Practical Leadership, The Five Be's

TCEP Ep19

Aloha everyone! I am privileged to appear on The Civil Engineering podcast with leader, career coach, and former Air Force engineer Christian Knudson.  Episode 19: Riding The Wave of Change As a Civil Engineer Leader – goes live today Wednesday Nov. 25 on iTunes at 6am EST.

This weeks Civil Engineer podcast features Mickey Addison, career military officer, civil engineer, author and senior leader about developing effective leadership in your civil engineering career.  Listen in to his three steps for civil engineering leaders navigating and implementing organizational change.  Plus learn about his new book, “The 5 Be’s”, available now!

Get Your Copy of The 5 Be’s Today!

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Announcements, Books, The Five Be's

I’m excited to announce my latest title now available in pocketbook from Lead The Way Media!

Logo Cover - FrontIn a world full of “no” and “don’t”, The 5 Be’s For Starting Out is a positive vision of who to “Be.” Based on a lifetime of mentoring young adults, The 5 Be’s is a roadmap to living a healthy, fulfilling, and successful life!

  • Be Proud Of Who You Are: Everyone has something to contribute — and so do you!
  • Be Free: Authentic freedom means having the ability to choose what’s good for you!
  • Be Virtuous: The virtues are the “guardrails” for success in life!
  • Be Balanced:  Keep your Mind, Body, and Spirit nourished to  keep your balance!
  • Be Courageous: Courage comes in many forms: physical and moral courage — find yours!

The 5 Be’s For Starting Out was a huge hit at a recent industry conference, and I’m proud to offer it as a pocketbook. It will also be available as an ebook soon! The 5 Be’s  makes a great stocking stuffer for the young adult in your life–or anyone looking to make a fresh start.

Click the button below to get your copy now!

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

For the New Graduates

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Pure Inspiration

It’s the graduation season, and young people across the country are throwing their square caps into the air in celebration of their accomplishment. My daughter was honored to present the Valedictorian speech at her school (which I’ll post tomorrow), and as a Dad I’ve got some advice I’d like to offer as well.

In honor of all those new high school grads who are preparing to enter college or the working world (or both), I thought I’d pen my very own Commencement Speech:


Aloha Graduates!

That word is heavy with meaning isn’t it? To be a graduate signifies you’ve accomplished something–something not everyone accomplishes. For good reasons and bad, roughly 10% of your peers nationwide weren’t able to finish. Maybe they had a tragedy in their lives that caused them to leave school and enter the workforce early, or perhaps there was some other reason. But regardless of the reason, you’ve accomplished something others have not. You shouldn’t take your accomplishment for granted. I share in your family, friends, and the faculty’s pride for you getting this far, and so should you be proud of yourself.

Some of you will be going on to college–congrats for your acceptance by your college or university! That is no small accomplishment even in an age when so many seek those college diplomas. Colleges can afford to be choosy, and they chose you. Let that sense of accomplishment carry you over the summer and into the orientation week at your new school; then forget it. You won’t be attending the 13th Grade, you’re in college and everyone expects you to perform at the collegiate level. Whether you’re majoring in Underwater Basketweaving or Nuclear Engineering, your faculty (and your parents!) will expect you to be an adult who can make their own decisions, ask for help when you need it, and deliver results with the work they give you. In a very real sense, you’ve got a $24,000 a year job (at your average state school) and your new boss expects you to earn your pay.

Some of you will be attending vocational training, either at a community college or trade school–congrats for your acceptance in your program! Employers constantly tell me how hard it is to get good employees, so you’re acceptance into a vocational training program is something of which you can be proud! But just like your college-bound classmates, you can have the summer break to savor your graduation and acceptance, and then you need to realize that accomplishment is not what will get you your license or certificate.  It will definitely not get you your first job, although it will get you in the door. Vocational training courses range in cost from $11,000 in non-medical fields, to more than $60,000 for medical training. That means you also have a job to do and your instructor is expecting you to earn your “pay.”

For those entering the workforce directly or the military: congrats on your very brave decision to grow up immediately! I commend you for your heart and for your willingness to get out and earn your own way in the world.  Unlike you’re classmates who still have a year or four to go before they start earning a living, you probably won’t get a summer to savor your graduation–but you get to start your adventure immediately. Remember, you’re not in high school. Your employer or your Military Training Instructor are there to train you up to do a job, and they expect you to perform. Do what your boss tells you, be honest and punctual, and be ready to do the dirty work. If you work hard and forthrightly it won’t be long until you’re the one giving the orders, but you’ll have to earn that privilege.

In case you haven’t guessed, all that advice actually applies to every graduate no matter what path you’ve chosen after high school. Some sprinted across the line and others made it just before the time expired, but you all made it! I want you all to be proud of yourselves, regardless of your class rank or the path you’ve chosen to pursue in life. Getting to the finish line of high school, whether you arrived in style or slid into your parking space just as the engine gave out is not only praiseworthy, it’s exciting and worthy of a victory cry.

One last word–your next set of decisions about the course of your life are significant, but they are not carved on stone tablets. If you decide college isn’t for you, or you’ve chosen the wrong field of study, or the wrong vocation, or the wrong job, then I want you to exercise the same will to succeed you did to complete high school to chart a new course for your life. I don’t mean you should make monumental choices lightly, or change life paths on a whim; but I do mean that you don’t have to go down with the ship if life changes in unexpected ways.

Reach for the stars, chase your dreams, and above all: work hard. You’ve earned your celebration tonight and you’ve earned your place in society. Tomorrow, begin the work of earning it anew. In the world you’re stepping into, not everyone gets a trophy but everyone gets a chance. Take that chance and make the most of it.

Class of 2015: Heartfelt congratulations for a job well done, and “Aim High” as you launch into the next chapter of your life!

Malama i Ka Pono

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Practical Leadership

The Hawaiian language is very beautiful, and it’s been a great pleasure to live here where I hear it spoken often. As a writer who loves words, the nuance in Hawaiian words and phrases inspires me. Words like aloha or ‘ohana have meanings much deeper than “hello/farewell” (aloha) and “family” (‘ohana), they also have contextual meanings as well. For example, the word aloha can mean “love” or “a friendly spirit” or even an “open sense of welcome.” ‘Ohana certainly means blood relatives, but it can also mean a wider sense of family or even community.

One of the words I really like is malama (“to take care”). The title of this post is malama i ka pono which roughly translates as “to take care of each other righteously,” or as Bill and Ted might have said, “Be excellent to each other.” My own amateur interpretation of the word malama is closer to “cultivate” and “care for deliberately” than merely babysit or nurse. When someone uses the word malama, they mean a commitment deeper than merely watching over someone; they take responsibility for their charge in a personal way.

What does all this have to do with leadership and personal development? Just this: leaders have to take care of their people. Situations can be stressful, tasks and deadlines can be stressful, and sometimes the leader must apply pressure to get the job done, but…leaders have to remember they’re leading people who must have enough left in the tank for the next task after the current one is complete. If a leader has the metaphorical throttle at the firewall all the time, he’s going to exhaust his team pretty quickly. An exhausted team might cross the finish line, but they won’t be ready for the next race (at least not quickly). In business as in the military, the next race often begins right after the last one ends!

American military leadership tradition is similar to the Hawaiian idea of malama, where we charge military commanders with knowing and caring for their troops on a personal level. We expect commanders to understand their Airmen’s drives and motivations, their struggles and strengths, and keep an ever watchful eye so they don’t expose the troops to unnecessary danger. Furthermore, while sometimes military leaders must send their troops into harm’s way, commanders also know not to spend everything on the current battle at the expense of the campaign. Even in peacetime or the safety of the rear area, military leaders understand the work is a marathon not a sprint requiring personal attention to the well being of the troops.

Since few in the private sector will be leading people in combat, what does all this malama business mean to those situations? The same principles apply, although the application may be a bit different. A private sector leader can malama his/her team by deliberately managing the stress level in the workplace. That care manifests in a number of ways: care for the workplace environment, distribution of workload, and most importantly treating subordinates with respect. A leader who’s shouting and waving their arms will increase the stress of the team and lower their productivity simultaneously. Furthermore, unlike the military a private sector employee can simply quit if the work is too abusive. Leaders can’t eliminate stress, and you shouldn’t try because a certain amount of stress is healthy, but leaders can and should be deliberate about how much and what kind of stress they allow. When a leader applies the principle of malama to their team, they see them as more than resources and will learn to cultivate their strengths and productivity.  A team who knows the leader actually cares about them, and has their interests as well as the company’s in mind is much more likely to perform at high levels. Conversely, teams whose leader is clearly out for their own advancement at the team’s expense is headed for disaster.  A leader who makes sure the workplace is safe, clean, and well-supplied is demonstrating malama.

So to sum up: if you want a high performing team, be a leader who lives malama in your approach to the teams you lead. Your people will return your care with performance and loyalty…from battlefields to bake sales.

“Local Kine” Leadership

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Books, From the Blogs, Practical Leadership

The natural beauty of the ‘aina (the land) and ke kai (the sea) in the Hawaiian Islands is legendary, but it’s the e komo mai (welcome) the good kama’aina (islanders) show to malahini (newcomers like me), that make these Islands of Aloha a wonderful place to live.  In fact, if you’ve noticed a slow down in the number of posts since I arrived last July, just take a look at the photo below and ask yourself, “Would I be at the computer or would I be outside?”  All kidding aside and the beauty of the Islands notwithstanding, the Spirit of Aloha is the primary reason we love Hawaii.  It’s been my experience that good relationships can make any place a great place to live.  In other words, leadership is like life: it’s all about the people.

Makapu'u Lookout, O'ahu
Makapu’u Lookout, O’ahu

One of our local authors, Rosa Say, has written a book and maintains a site dedicated to the Hawaiian approach to leading people called Managing With Aloha.  It’s a Hawaiian spin on the classic leadership approach of meeting people where they are and respecting them as part of the team.  Rosa Say does a great job of explaining the Hawaiian approach to life and then translating that into business principles anyone can use.  In her 19 Values of Aloha, she uses the traditional Hawaiian values and words from the Hawaiian language to express how a workplace can operate with Aloha.

Managing With Aloha 0001L4-791x1024  I think the values Ms Say describes connect nicely with my own Leading Leaders philosophy of Integrity, Respect, Teamwork, Leaders Lead, and Little Things Matter.  These values resonate, and also connect across cultural lines, because fundamentally leadership is about relationships, and helping others find value in their work and each other.  I like her blog, and I’m looking forward to reading Rosa Say’s book.

In my own book, I touch on similar ideas. Even though I’ve developed my leadership principles primarily in military and sports environments, Leading Leaders principles are universal and can be applied to industry, non-profit, and government. Why? Because good leadership is fundamentally about human interaction, inspiring people to get a job done or overcome obstacles: from combat to craft fairs. Leadership is not a formula or process. There is no product to buy, shirt to wear, or pill to take that can substitute for good leadership, and good leadership requires strength of character from the leader.  This is something I have in common with Ms Say: the belief in the power of ohana and relationships to move people toward goals.

A big mahalo (thank you) to Rosa Say for her contribution to helping leaders live pono, spread aloha and ohana, and add to the conversation about alaka’i in the business community!