What are Your Aspirations?

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Achieving Goals

Aspire to become a better you!Every January we focus a lot on “resolutions” and “goals”–and all that’s good. I think we should step back and think a little bigger; namely: our aspirations. What’s the difference? Why do we need them? Aren’t goals enough?

No. Let me tell you why.

Aspirations versus Goals

Put succinctly, an aspiration is a longing, hope, or ambition, while a goal is a tangible achievement. So while I have a goal to drop 20 pounds and work out 4 times per week, I aspire to a high level of fitness so I can do the things I like to do like mountain biking or surfing.

If you’re struggling to come up with goals or find it hard to keep resolutions, it might be because you haven’t figured out what you aspire to be. Goals flow from aspirations. If I aspire to live my life a certain way or be a certain kind of person, then making (and achieving) my goals becomes natural. As I’ve written before, knowing where you’re going increases your chance of getting there. Goals give us “targets” to aim at as we go through life. What aspirations do for us is help us stretch and reach outside ourselves. Aspirations help us grow.

Why We Need to Aspire

It’s fairly common for people to make the same types of resolutions each year. We all know the most common: lose weight, quit smoking, go to the gym more, getting up earlier, reading more books, etc. If those are your goals this year, then by all means go for it! But if you are making the same goals for a second or third year in a row, then it might be time to think about why you made the goals in the first place. Getting healthy, starting your day right, and improving your mind are all great goals–but if they’re not aligned with your aspirations then it will be drudgery to maintain your momentum. However, if you aspire to be a healthy person, an early riser, or more well read because you want to be a better person, then working on achieving your goals becomes much easier, and maybe even fun!

Who Do You Want to Be?

Starting with a vision of who you want to be will enable you to become a high performer as you develop aspirations to help you stretch. Visioning your future, giving voice to your aspirations, will give you the power to reach your goals. So, the question for you is: Who do you want to be?

Check out the goal setting resources page for worksheets to help you build your aspirations and goals.

 


Mickey is a consultant, author, and keynote speaker. He believes everyone can reach high levels of performance if inspired and led. During his 30 year US Air Force career Mickey commanded thousands of Airmen, managed portfolios worth billions of dollars, and worked with military, civil, and industry officials around the world. He is a Distinguished Graduate from the Eisenhower School at National Defense University in Washington DC.

Mickey is the author of seven books, including Leading Leaders: Inspiring, Empowering, and Motivating Teams, Mickey’s Rules for Leaders, and The Five Be’s: A Straighforward Guide to Life.

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Give Me Three Goals Mister

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Achieving Goals

Goals anyone?Ah January, that time of year when we can no longer ignore the calories we consumed over the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day, and thoughts turn to goal setting and resolutions. The gyms will be busy for a few weeks, and the television will have weight loss and “New Year New You” commercials (until Super Bowl Sunday, of course, then we take a break!)

There’s a great honor in a failed attempt, but there’s no honor in no attempt. – Laird Hamilton

Despite the Hype, You Need to Set Goals

I know it’s stereotypical to write about goal setting in January, but setting goals is incredibly important. Simply allowing life to “happen” to us without thinking about where we want to be, what we want to achieve, and the kind of person we want to be is a recipe for an unhappy life. How many times have we’ve heard, “I’d have done such-and-such or gone to fill-in-the-blank place, but…” DON’T BE THAT GUY!  You’ll never regret the scars of failed attempts or time spent with your family, but you will regret the times you sat on the couch and let life happen.

Three Steps to Goal Setting

Picking out what you want to achieve in the coming year should match your personality and skills, be measurable, and be realistic. For example, I can set myself a goal to play in the NFL next fall, but unless they have a shortage of slow 52-year-olds with bad knees that’s probably not a good goal for me. I can, however, set myself a goal to participate in the 21-mile Dam That Cancer standup paddle board event. That’s a realistic goal and right in line with my skills and personality.

Your goals should be something you actually want to achieve. You should be able to measure your progress toward your goal, and they should be actually achievable. By all means, stretch yourself and reach for something–that’s where you grow–but don’t set yourself up for failure by “shooting the moon” without a rocket. To be successful, here’s the Three Steps I use:

  1. Write your goals down and tell someone. Having your goals on paper and in public creates accountability for you to motivate you to stay committed.
  2. Measure your progress. It can be a massive motivator to see your progress grow (or shrink, depending on the goal!). There’s loads of tools out there, from apps to journals, but you don’t have to be fancy–just measure it.
  3. Reward yourself when you get there. Some goals are fun and rewarding, some are just necessary for your personal or professional growth. In any case, celebrate the win with a little reward when you achieve your goal. The promise of the reward is a motivator, and in those times when it’s hard you’re gonna need it.

So, Where Do You Want to Be in February?

In the Air Force, we used to talk about short-term goals or problems as “the 50 meter target” because on the shooting range, those are the closest ones. In combat, you always engage the closest target first. February is your 50 meter target! It’s easy to sit on the couch and make goals, heck most of us actually mean it when we make them. Then, February.

After we make our long-term goals that fit with our personality and skills, are measurable, and realistic, we need to steel ourselves to engage February. February is dark and cold in most places. After the post-holiday glow is gone and before the sun warms us up in spring, February will be the “goal killer.” Engage that target!  Visualize the person you want to be a the end of February, and power through. Remind yourself in those dark February mornings why you set those goals to begin with, and resolve not to lose ground. All that said, if you do stumble, remember: you still have 10 months to go! Plenty of time to regain your footing and move forward again.

You Got This

No matter what, remember you are able to reach your goals. If you select realistic goals and work on them steadily throughout the year, you’ll get there by the time 2019 rolls around.

 


Mickey is a consultant, author, and keynote speaker. He believes everyone can reach high levels of performance if inspired and led. During his 30 year US Air Force career Mickey commanded thousands of Airmen, managed portfolios worth billions of dollars, and worked with military, civil, and industry officials around the world. He is a Distinguished Graduate from the Eisenhower School at National Defense University in Washington DC.

Mickey is the author of seven books, including Leading Leaders: Inspiring, Empowering, and Motivating Teams, Mickey’s Rules for Leaders, and The Five Be’s: A Straighforward Guide to Life.

Sign up for my mailing list and get Mickey’s Rules for Leaders ebook as a thank you!

 

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Christmas Geekiness and Planning for 2018

Posted Leave a commentPosted in The Five Be's

The Christmas Season begins at the Vigil (sundown) on Christmas Eve (Dec 24) and continues through the Feast of the Epiphany (Jan 6).

We’ll have a short post this week as I’m trying to keep my screen time to a minimum to enjoy the holidays and some time off with my family. I thought you’d appreciate some fun facts about Christmas, perhaps something you already know or perhaps something new! I’ll admit to being a bit of a history and liturgy geek, so bear with me!

Christmas Geekology

Christmas begins on Dec 24th, so why do we start celebrating early? Well, mostly because of World War II. With millions of Americans deployed overseas, the Federal Government urged Blue Star families to send their cards and presents early so the troops would receive them by Christmas.

The Twelve Days of Christmas are the actual Christian liturgical season of Christmas between Advent, and Ordinary Time. The entire calendar is derived from calculating Easter’s date, with “fixed” Solemnities like Christmas and the Annunciation fitting in as well. The Annunciation, the celebration of the Angel’s visit to the Blessed Virgin, occurs on March 25th each year–9 months before the celebration of Christ’s birth. If you notice, many churches and households decorate simply with evergreen and ribbons, saving the lights and colors for Christmas Day. My own Mom would challenge our poor mountain-grown fir tree to remain fireproof in the warm Texas winter until the Epiphany (Jan 6), although our house Fire Marshal (Dad) would occasionally drag the poor brown thing to the curb on Jan 1st.

Thinking about Next Year Yet?

I’ve been thinking a LOT about what I’ll be doing in 2018. If you’re a newsletter subscriber, you’ve already gotten a sneak peek! I’ll be adding to the blog, and I’m mulling over more ways to deliver content to you. If you have topics or ideas you’d like to see from me, I’d LOVE to hear them! Post them in the blog comments below or send me an email. In January, look for hints and methods for reaching your goals and becoming a High Achiever in the next year.

In the mean time, have a GREAT Christmas season and rest up for an AMAZING 2018!!!

 

 


Mickey is a consultant, author, and keynote speaker. He believes everyone can reach high levels of performance if inspired and led. During his 30 year US Air Force career Mickey commanded thousands of Airmen, managed portfolios worth billions of dollars, and worked with military, civil, and industry officials around the world. He is a Distinguished Graduate from the Eisenhower School at National Defense University in Washington DC.

Mickey is the author of seven books, including Leading Leaders: Inspiring, Empowering, and Motivating Teams, Mickey’s Rules for Leaders, and The Five Be’s: A Straighforward Guide to Life.

Sign up for my mailing list and get Mickey’s Rules for Leaders ebook as a thank you!

 

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Be Prepared to Be Courageous

Posted Leave a commentPosted in The Five Be's

We must be mentally prepared to be courageous, you never know when the call will come.

When I give my Five Be’s talk and I get to the part about “Be Courageous”, I spend most of the time on the subject of “Moral Courage.” The reason I do that is because few of us will get the opportunity to demonstrate “Physical Courage”, but we all get the chance to demonstrate “Moral Courage” on a daily basis. In the course of our daily lives, we won’t run into burning buildings, dodge Taliban gunfire while directing air strikes, or engage in a running gun battle with a madman.

Moral Courage on a Daily Basis

Most of us, however, get the chance to be morally courageous every day. We can stand up for someone being bullied, we can be honest when in our dealings with others even when it’s difficult, we can uphold standards of conduct and speech. These things are courageous because they require the virtue of Fortitude. We have to be strong on the inside and sometimes swim against the stream to do what’s right. It’s not always popular to do the right thing, but it’s always right. An ethics instructor I once had used to tell us constantly, “First Principles, gentlemen. If you start there you avoid a multitude of sins.” First Principles are things like, “It’s wrong for the strong to take advantage of the weak” or “It’s wrong to cheat,” etc. What he meant was there is such a thing as “Right” and “Wrong”–we all know this instinctively–it’s in the application of those Principles where we sometimes get ourselves into trouble. To avoid a misapplication, we need an objective system of ethics outside ourselves, and internal compass with an external orientation.

The Need for Courage Can Come Unexpectedly

I’m sure when Air Force Master Sergeant Dan Wassom woke up the morning that a tornado would take his life, he hadn’t planned to be courageous. The tornado struck after dinner, around 7pm, and Wassom calmly acted to protect his family. One doesn’t “fight” a tornado, but how one responds to a crisis affects those around them. As a combat veteran, Wassom must’ve understood that he couldn’t panic because his family depended on him and would take their cue from him on how to act. According to Military.com,

Wassom’s wife told his parents that he remained calm, cool and collected even as the monster twister began to consume their 2,300-square-foot home.  As Wassom bent his 6-foot-2 frame over his youngest daughter, forming a semi-protective cocoon over her, a heavy structural beam struck the back of his neck and a one-by-four impaled his chest. Lorelai lost a toe on her left foot and suffered a serious injury to her right shoulder, but she, along with her mother and sister, Sydney, survived.

Wassom was a hero because he kept his head and acted even though anyone in his situation would’ve been terrified. Courage, it’s said, is not the absence of fear, but doing what’s necessary despite being afraid.

Prepare to Be Courageous

The best way to be the one who “rises to the occasion” is to be prepared. Be the guy who has the jumper cables, first aid kit, and chemlights in your trunk. Get rudimentary first aid training, think through what you’d do in a natural disaster, etc. You might not ever be called upon to be a hero, but then again…

 


Mickey is a consultant, author, and keynote speaker. He believes everyone can reach high levels of performance if inspired and led. During his 30 year US Air Force career Mickey commanded thousands of Airmen, managed portfolios worth billions of dollars, and worked with military, civil, and industry officials around the world. He is a Distinguished Graduate from the Eisenhower School at National Defense University in Washington DC.

Mickey is the author of seven books, including Leading Leaders: Inspiring, Empowering, and Motivating Teams, Mickey’s Rules for Leaders, and The Five Be’s: A Straighforward Guide to Life.

Sign up for my mailing list and get Mickey’s Rules for Leaders ebook as a thank you!

 

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Leaders Create a Culture of Respect

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leadership by Experience

The second brick in the foundation of leadership that’s necessary when leading leaders is respect. The leader must model respect and demand it of their teams.

Respect must go both ways, up as well as down, and most of the burden falls on the leader’s shoulders. Respect is both inherent, and it is earned.  It is earned by the way we do our jobs, the way we treat others, and how we carry ourselves. Just as important, respect for the organization is a necessary component.  Respect is also inherent in each person as a matter of simple human dignity.

Leaders Set the Tone

It is very important for a leader to explicitly outline his or her expectations in this regard. Everyone should expect their co-workers and their leaders to follow the law, that’s a given. Our attitudes about the people we work with should convey that our hearts as well as our heads demonstrate our respect. The leader must also pledge that they will show respect to their team. A person who shows respect to others will create a “bubble of trust” around them. People will want to work with them and for them. Customers will want to do business with them. The more people in an organization that have built their reputations on mutual respect, the bigger that “bubble of trust” grows. When people know they’re respected by their teammates and leaders, they feel safe to perform, to take risks, and to be themselves.

A person who shows respect to others will create a “bubble of trust” around them.

Whenever I took command of a new unit, I made it very clear that we were to respect each other as Airmen and as persons. For us, that meant we used proper military customs and courtesies, we didn’t use foul language, and we respected each others’ dignity whether or not we agreed with our teammates’ choices or beliefs. Each person has a multitude of ways to describe them: sex, race, eye color, religion or no religion, national origin, etc. We are required by law to treat people equally in all things and not to treat someone differently because they are different from us. It’s not necessary for me to agree with everything another person thinks or believes, but it is necessary for me to treat them with the respect they deserve as a fellow human being.

Beyond mere adherence to the law, respect is recognizing that another human being has the same value as I do because they are.

Not Just for the Military

In the private sector, this is no different. Like the public sector, there are institutional policies and public law that require certain personal and institutional behaviors, but respect is not a legal requirement. Respect is much more than that. Beyond mere adherence to the law, respect is recognizing that another human being has the same value as I do because they are, not because of what they do, how much money they make, or what clothes they wear. Now, I can certainly perform rote behaviors and parrot legal scripts when dealing with others, but to truly show respect, that has to come from the heart. Again, I don’t have to condone behavior or agree with beliefs that don’t match my own; but the skilled leader, the effective leader, separates behavior from personhood and can show respect to anyone regardless of differences. This type of respect engenders respect in return.

Over the course of my career, I’ve led and worked with a number of people who were very different from me. Because we lived and worked in an environment where respect was the expected behavior, teams and friendships usually form quickly, even among very dissimilar people. We became friends with people we might never have even met, let alone socialized with, because the climate our leaders created and maintained required that we respect each other. When you start with respect for another person, most times the differences don’t really matter all that much.

Crimes are not Mistakes – Know the Difference

Of course, there are some things in the “just don’t do it” category, for example: sexual harassment, alcohol abuse, illegal drug use, racism, etc. These are inherently self-destructive behaviors that leaders cannot tolerate under any circumstances and go well beyond mere “philosophical differences.” In professions like heavy industry, construction, the military, police, or fire service, these sorts of self-destructive behaviors can have life or death consequences. In business, it can end careers and destroy companies.

…there are some things in the “just don’t do it” category, for example: sexual harassment, alcohol abuse, illegal drug use, racism, etc. These are inherently self-destructive behaviors that leaders cannot tolerate under any circumstances…

Leaders have to act quickly to prevent someone’s illegal choices from costing someone else their life or livelihood. In industrial settings, the consequences for the “just don’t do it” behaviors are similarly severe. However, not all of us work in a life and death profession. So while leaders in an office or small business may not have to deal with an industrial accident, business and personal consequences can be very severe. Moreover, an incidence of sexual harassment damages the victim and could expose the firm to legal action for not addressing the illegal behavior.

Leaders have to do the hard work of holding to personal, professional, and legal standards. To do otherwise doesn’t merely endanger personal reputation of the offender; it endangers the entire enterprise.

Today’s post is an excerpt from Leading Leaders: Inspiring, Empowering, and Motivating Teams. It’s available in the Lulu Bookstore and on Amazon, also on Kindle.


Mickey is a consultant, author, and keynote speaker. He believes everyone can reach high levels of performance if inspired and led. During his 30 year US Air Force career Mickey commanded thousands of Airmen, managed portfolios worth billions of dollars, and worked with military, civil, and industry officials around the world. He is a Distinguished Graduate from the Eisenhower School at National Defense University in Washington DC.

Mickey is the author of seven books, including Leading Leaders: Inspiring, Empowering, and Motivating Teams, Mickey’s Rules for Leaders, and The Five Be’s.

Sign up for my mailing list and get Mickey’s Rules for Leaders ebook as a thank you!

 

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The Thumper Rule – If You Don’t Have Something Nice to Say

Posted Leave a commentPosted in The Five Be's

I heard my father’s voice in my head: “Be nice,” so I choked out a strained “thank you” through a fake smile. What I really wanted to say was, “Are you KIDDING me?!!” 

The young Airman standing in front of me had very proudly secured an all black Toyota Forerunner from the motor pool that he thought was, “a cool color.” In a place where the summer temperatures reach 130 degrees Fahrenheit, I had a black car without tinted windows. And I had to say “thank you.” In fact, if I’d said anything else, I’m sure I’d have crushed him because he thought he was doing me a favor. Not everyone has a black car in Kuwait. In fact, in the year I was there I never saw another black car! It was unheard of in the desert country of Kuwait because the Kuwaitis knew better.

As I tore my stunned gaze away from the solar oven that was about to be my command vehicle, I searched for something to say.  Heck, I’d have left there and had a beer to drown my sorrows–except General Order No 1 prohibited the consumption of alcohol in the Central Command Area of Responsibility. So, I smiled, thanked the young man, and left before I said something I knew I’d regret.

What Thumper Said–Sometimes

In the classic Disney film, Bambi, there is a scene when Bambi’s cottontail companion Thumper is corrected by his mother after he makes a rude comment about Bambi. In reply to his mother’s, “Thumper, what did your father tell you?”, he replies sweetly, “If you don’t have somethin’ nice to say, don’t say nuthin’ at all.” It’s good advice that seems more difficult to abide by in the digital age.

It’s easy in the heat of the moment and particularly online to be more direct and verbally aggressive than we would’ve been otherwise. It’s particularly easy when the interface between you and another person is a computer screen that you take with you everywhere (like your phone or tablet). It’s gotten so bad for some that a few friends of mine have abandoned all social media completely. I think a great many people, fearful of others’ harsh words or perhaps their own, have simply ceded the public square to the trolls.

Light a Candle

The truth is very, very few of us enjoy being mean or nasty. There are a few people out there who seem to thrive on the pain and embarrassment of others, but most people really don’t like confrontation or meanness. But just like the old saying, “Don’t curse the darkness, light a candle,” we can actually do something about it.

It starts with living out what you believe, and doing so in a positive and constructive way. As my own father wisely told me, “Taking the coat off someone else’s back doesn’t make mine any warmer.” He means, tearing others down doesn’t build us up–it actually brings all of us down together. If we truly believe that other humans are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and “in the image and likeness of God,” shouldn’t we treat our fellow humans as if that were true? If we actually believe in the ideal that “all men are brothers”, shouldn’t our words and actions reflect that belief?

I think it should, and that’s our way to light a candle. When the conversation gets bad, we can find a way to show love to one another and bring a little peace with our words, or even silence. If you are human and mess up, then apologize as best you can and try to be better next time. Even if we need to correct something or defend ourselves or others, we can do that peacefully and with love.

That’s lighting a candle, too. And it’s also what Thumper would’ve done.

 


Mickey is a consultant, author, and keynote speaker. He believes everyone can reach high levels of performance if inspired and led. During his 30 year US Air Force career Mickey commanded thousands of Airmen, managed portfolios worth billions of dollars, and worked with military, civil, and industry officials around the world. He is a Distinguished Graduate from the Eisenhower School at National Defense University in Washington DC.

Mickey is the author of seven books, including Leading Leaders: Inspiring, Empowering, and Motivating Teams, Mickey’s Rules for Leaders, and The Five Be’s.

Sign up for my mailing list and get Mickey’s Rules for Leaders ebook as a thank you!

 

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